Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
