thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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