sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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