just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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