I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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