so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
