You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
