I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
