vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
