he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
