singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
