just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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