I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
