Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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