Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
