the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
