I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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