i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
