I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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