the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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