I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
