we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
