it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
