Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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