Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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