i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
