thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
