no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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