a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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