when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Terrible idea I love it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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