I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
