Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
