I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
