My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
