God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
