I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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