ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
