Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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