Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
