I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
