Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
