I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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