so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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