hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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