Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
