hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
