We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize