we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
