I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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