Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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